I like words. This should come as no big surprise to anyone who knows me. I have an entire library of books, maybe two or three. I use words to weave my own worlds. I play with words, I change them, I dream them.

One of the last writing projects I gave to my students was to write 5 poems. They each needed to be a different type of poem. We have written poems several times this year, so it should have been a pretty simple assignment. (Oh, and they were excited because I said they could write about anything. Sometimes I give them a topic: write a poem about something we learned about in science.)

As usual, I also did this assignment. I spent the first two class periods going through the thesaurus. I love me a good thesaurus. I filled pages in my notebook of words from that thesaurus. All of these words somehow related to words, writing, and books. I planned on all of my poems to be about this topic.

Once I had all of my words, I started to write. It was rather easy after I had done all of the work with my list of words. Diamonte, Haiku, poem, after poem. Then I laid out how each of the pages would look and thought of the pictures or images I could draw to go along with the poems. In the clearing out of my classroom, I had found a book I had stitched for the summer reading program a couple of years ago. It still had not been written in. I decided that was the perfect place to put my poems.

When I was finished I really liked how my poem book of  'words' turned out. 

Now, I want to think of another word. 

Patience - I wanted the true definition so I looked it up.

The state, quality, or fact of being patient. The will or ability to wait or endure without complaint. Steadiness, endurance, or perseverance in the performance of a task.

This year has been filled with much waiting.

 So on the way to the Ren Faire this weekend, I had several thoughts.

The first thought came to me as we were getting near the river at Nebraska City.  The last time we had gone this way was 2 years years ago, during (after) the serious flooding that year.  Mostly Nebraska was a destruction zone, bridges and dams were gone, whole sections of roads were just gone, and there was water everywhere.  That crossing of the Missouri river was the scariest crossing of any body of water in my life. The water was everywhere, and what I was driving on was not actually the road but dirt they had piled between concrete barricades that were holding back the water. Later on our return trip we could not go this way, we had to find a different way across the river.  So this weekend, just getting near Nebraska City brought all of these memories back to me.  Of course it helped that one side of the road was still missing.  They were still reparing the damage from two years ago. 

Are we counting down?

 

This has been the strangest year of my life, followed closely by last year of course. I do not want this to be a post complaining about all of the things that have happened this year. Nor do I "really" want to celebrate the tiny bits of normal life that we have had. And trust me I have celebrated tiny and seemingly unimportant things this year.

This year has seemed to take FOREVER.

This year had sped by so quickly I can't believe it is almost over.

It has been super warm and nice weather.

It has been horrible and so cold you thought you'd never warm up.

This year seems so filled I can hardly find time to get something finished.

This year has been empty with nothing on my calendar.

Can I go? Is is Zoom? Who's name is on the list?

Is it open? Is it happening? What are the rules? Do I even care?

A weird year. A year so mixed up it doesn't even know what is happening.

There are only a few weeks of school left. 

I am ready for the year to be over. I am looking forward to summer like I have never looked forward to it before.

I hate the thought of this year ending. There are so many things I want to yet do.

I have been very careful about NOT putting anything on my calendar. I wanted no reminders of things I might or might not be able to go to. I just lived day by day. I do not plan things. This is so not like me. I normally make plans to plan things. But in the mail today, I received my new planner. I am going to start writing down things that are happening. This is going to be my planner of the things I want to do, of things I am going to do!

Wait, what?

This morning I looked out my window and saw something that made me think, "Wait what?" It was snowing, except it was not snowing. The sun was shining, the sky was blue, not a single cloud.  And yet huge falling flakes of snow were coming down and covering my deck and the already snow covered ground. I quickly went to the door to see just what was happening. Now you have to understand, the heat wave of the last couple of day (a bright and sunny 24 degrees) had gotten most all of the snow out of the trees the day before.  So I knew that it could not just be the wind blowing the snow out of the trees.

I, of course, had woken up early in the morning before the sun was up. When I checked my phone, it had told me that there was a haze. It had not said fog. But as I watched the snow falling, I thought, maybe we had a freezing fog over night, and that is what now covered my trees. And another maybe here, maybe the beautiful sun and the current 10 degrees was warm enough to melt this freezing fog and allow it to fall as if it was snowing.

I stood there with the door open and watched this beautiful sight for a while. I of course wanted to get a better look at it so I got ready to step outside.  I had to stop myself in mid step. Ten degrees, hmm, that is 40 degrees warmer than it was a few days ago, but I did not even have socks on my feet and thought that maybe the deck and the ice and snow covering it might be a tad cold. I went and put my shoes on and grabbed my camera.

Nebraska has been very cold the last couple of weeks. We have not taken the children outside for recess in two weeks because our thermometers have been reading on the negative side of the scale.  The week or two before this bitter cold had been filled with frost covered trees and fog that lasted most all day. On those days, walking to school, I would look at the sparkling trees finding pleasure in the beauty all around me. My mind played with ideas and words. One morning there was a heavy fog, but I needed to go to town. Fog was better to drive in then a blizzard (yes, we had been having lots of snow as well) so I went to town in the fog. While driving I had a idea for a story that I still want to write. When I got home it was time for research. 

I read about freezing fog. I read about hoarfrost. I like the word hoarfrost. It sounds so much more interesting to me than freezing fog. But sadly, the state that I imagined for my story was more of a freezing fog. So when I do write that story it will not be about hoarfrost. (I will have to find a different place to put hoarfrost into my words.)

Now all of this might not seem linked to everyone, but in my mind, this snow/frost falling on a sunny morning was a call to get back to that story I imagined on a drive to town a few weeks ago.  The horrible cold we had been having had keep me from seeing the beautiful sparkling crystals all around me. This morning as I looked out of my window and tried to understand what I was seeing, I felt all of that come back to me.  Now do not for one moment think this means I am ready for another month of two of winter. I have several plant catalogs sitting beside my bed, signs of spring and the plants that are still hidden under a foot or more of snow.

But as I wait for the snow to melt, and the temperature to get over freezing, I should probably sit down and write a story. 

Oh, and here is a definition of

 hoarfrost:

a grayish-white crystalline deposit of frozen water vapor formed in clear still weather on vegetation and fences. 

freezing fog:

tiny, supercooled liquid water droplets in fog that freeze instantly on exposed surfaces when the surface temperatures are at or below freezing.

Funny enough when I look at pictures of hoarfrost and freezing fog, I am not sure I can actually tell the difference, except that one requires fog and the other clear skies. It might take more research for me to fully understand this bit of winter weather.

Paint Chip Poetry

 

So I bought a new game. Ella and I have picked up paint chips at several stores over the last couple of months, some of them because we were actually buying paint, and others because we have plans for the paint samples. We have had several discussions of how we love some of the names on these samples. So when I saw this game I knew I needed to buy it. Plus I am sort of a sucker for any 'writing' games.

Well, lucky for me Ella was home this weekend. We decided that we were going to clean and organize our craft room. But first we wanted to try a round or two of this new game. We read the rules and started to play. In the end, we did not get to the craft room at all. We were having way to much fun with this game. 

Round after Round.

Poem after Poem.

We did not want to stop. Funny enough, we ended up with some at least interesting poems and a lot of laughs. Now I have shared a portion of these on our Facebook writer's group. So some of you might have seen these already, sorry about that. But we thought it might be fun to share some of them here as well.

Here is how the game works. You flip over a THEME card. This theme you will use to write your poem. Each player also gets 12 paint clips with those marvelous names. You use these names (words) in your poems.

Here is one example:

I have put our paint chip colors in bold to give you an idea of how it looks.

Theme: Once Upon a Time

Once Upon a Time

The sunburst melts the ice cap.

Once Upon a Time

Vintage turquoise sold at the cliff dwelling.

Once Upon a Time

The tongue-tied salmon shouts, “Surf’s Up!”

Once Upon a Time

The watermelon grows between the chanterelle and sour grapes.

Once Upon a Time

The amethyst sky beyond the ancient castle glows.

By Lisa Montoya (I was an over achiever on this one, I decided to try and use all 12 of my paint chip colors.)

Once upon a time

I ate

The

Whole

Enchilada

meant to feed the entire village

I don't know why I did it but

It

Tasted

Heavenly.

Till my stomach started feeling like a swamp.

There was

Nothing

I could do

to stop the feeling as

I ran from the

Starving

Angry

Guards.

I was miserable.

by Ella Montoya

Here are some more of my poems:

In your zest for life

Stay away from the thistle

On your quest for the 

Fountain of youth

Relish the rain.

Iron gate creaking

Journey through the deep dark wood

Smoke and ash guiding

A clown nose rolls across the floor

The shrouded figure wearing 

The straw hat reaches out

To retrieve it.

As she bends you glimpse 

The ruby slippers hidden below.

The concrete elephant guards the way

I sat beneath the jacaranda tree

Wild huckleberry

And

Grandma’s hydrangeas

Fill the field between

As mystical characters and places

Only dreamt about

Play in my mind

The pages filled with words.

Pinot noir or matcha tea

Orange you glad it’s you and me

Listen Carefully

A sea anemone whispers under the ocean waves.

Listen Carefully

A panther prowls the forest floor.

Listen Carefully

A gentle breeze sings through the grassland.

Listen Carefully

What do you hear beyond the door?

Ginkgo biloba

Lotus flower into tea

Frees the mind to see

When I was Little

Collecting sand dollars

On my very first beach walk.

Polished stones plucked from 

The middle of the driveway

Priceless treasure to fill my pockets.

Was it good fortune

To find the perfect plum 

As the school bus passed the old barn?

Was it good fortune

As the sun set over the corn maze, the perfect fall?

Was it good fortune

The heart beat faster - the first sight of Niagara Falls?

Twas good fortune one and all.

The sun rays shine

Upon the golden gate.

The steel dragon

Carries the new leaf of spring

On the road through the stars

To the Red Planet.

Apple of my eye

Rose colored glasses see you

Habanero burns

Yes, some of these are just crazy nonsense, or should I say, me trying to get rid of paint clips that would not work for any theme we had. But some of them I like. And many of them made Ella and I laugh.

I should share some of Ella's here as well.

I was watching the

Blue Bird

In the

Clear Skies

Searching for a

Bright Idea

Then, I noticed my

Lost Balloon

Floating away

Toward the

Blue Bird

In the

Clear Skies

I lost my

Bright Idea

A warm glow covers

The Sahara’s sand castle.

Why is there a grass stain?

I look toward the antique rose

displayed among the sun-bleached fake ferns.

I lift my cup of chamomile tea to my mouth

as memories of time spent

whispering secrets at tea parties

Hidden among the rose bushes.

Fill my mind.

It’s bittersweet.

I sigh and set my cup back down.

It ain’t all

Sunshine

and

Rainbows

Being royal

Specially when ya arn’t the

Cream

of the

Crop

Ya got to

Tread

Carefully

Less your parents trick you into

Bitting

the

Pomegranate

Trapping you in the underworld forever.

I look toward the antique rose

displayed among the sunbleached fake ferns.

I lift my cup of chamomile tea to my mouth

as memories of time spent

whispering secrets at tea parties

Hidden among the rose bushes.

Fill my mind.

It’s bittersweet.

I sigh and set my cup back down.

Well, I hope you all enjoyed a bit of our fun from a quiet Saturday afternoon, just Ella and I playing with words.

My JoJo

 So it seems this post has been a long time coming.  When I first thought of writing it, I thought it would be a wonderful thing to do. I could explore all of the feelings seeing these two pictures of my daughter gave me, and I could share them with the world. But the more I thought about it, the more I didn't really want to do it. 

Melinda is a senior. Of course that is why I was out taking senior pictures of her. When I start thinking about this, then I have to think about what this year means for her and for me. I am not sure I would ever be completely ready for my children to graduate and head off to college. Yes, I want them to do these things. But these very things change our whole world. I don't know about any one else, but I like when my world is safe and secure. I like knowing what to expect. I generally like when things do not change.

This could be a very different year for me. Not only is this Melinda's senior year, but Zeb graduated from college and Ella is a junior in college. The paths of my children's lives are heading out into places we have never been. I am looking forward to the adventures that this will bring. But I would be lying if I didn't admit that the mommy in me wants to take all three of their hands and keep them safely inside my house.

So now that I have accepted some of what these pictures bring to my heart, I can look at them. I can write about them.

I see this beautiful little angel that has been given to me to guide and love. I helped to place her tiny feet onto the path. I held her hand as she took her first steps. Even this tiny little girl had come down the path quite a way. We can see it curving off between the trees behind her. Here she is just stepping onto the bridge, at the very beginning of her life.

Now, I have kept this angel girl in my heart for 17 years. This is her somewhere in the middle of that bridge (the bridge of her life). I can still see the path, the steps she has taken to get to this point. I will still be there to hold her hand when she needs it, to watch her become exactly who she is meant to be.

And no, we did not plan the outfits to match or think of putting her on the bridge because we wanted to recreate these pictures. That was a complete accident.  

The Beginnings of Spring

I love spring.  It is probably my favorite time of year.  After everything was brown and dead over the winter, you get to see all of these colorful surprises.  And not just the browns of winter, but the cold which also does tend to keep me inside.  You can actually go outside and just "be" in the spring.

I am a strange sort of gardener.  I love flowers.  I even love foodtype plants.  I like to find uses for the things I grow.  (Even dandelions make delicious wine.)  But the part that makes me a strange gardener is that I don't really like dirt, and I hate bugs, and worms are not really my thing.  Oh, and weeds, well, they are just not my friend.  If I planted strawberries here, that is all that should be growing here.

Even so, I step outside of my house, and I imagine what I want my yard/garden to look like.  In the spring, I am happy to pull the weeds.  I don't even mind the worms or the dirt that much.  Though as the summer comes, I care just a little bit less.  By then it has become a chore to go out and water and pull those weeds that always find their way back during the night.

I prefer plants that come back year after year.  I deal with the dirt and worms once.  Then I enjoy the beauty for years to come.  I have slowly over the course of the last four years been working through areas of my yard.  In fact I am not sure I should call it a yard.  My backyard has never actually been grass.  When we moved in it was mostly dirt and dandelions.  Truly, I have no intention of planting grass there.  I also do not care about watering grass only to have to turn around and mow it.  Now I know there are people who enjoy this and that is fine with me. 
But my back 'yard' is going to be:

• vegetable garden (tomato, peppers, onions, and such for making spaghetti sauce and salsa),  at some point I would like to add things like greenbeans, carrots, and other things.  But first I need to focus on getting these areas under control. 
• strawberry and pineberry garden (maybe some other berry in the future for eating and making jelly and wine), 
• herb garden (so far mint, thyme, lemon balm, and chives .. hopefully more this year..  my lavender seems to have died  - for all sorts of things - cooking, smelling, repelling bugs, essential oils, candles),
• flower garden - I have many types of flowers and I try to add a couple of more items every year
• fairy garden - We planted this slab of various amazing little plants a couple of years ago, breaking it into smaller pieces and putting it between the stepping stones I set my fairy houses on, and  that stuff is spreading and coming back just like I was hoping.  This weekend I plan on putting out my fairy houses.
• sand garden?  This was meant to house our swimming pool.  Which is something the girls and I would like.  Except that under our huge trees, the water never gets warm enough that we want to swim.  So this year, I am NOT putting up the pool.  We are going to turn this sandy circle area into our fire pit area.  Sadly right now, there are dandelions trying to take over this zone.  Truly there was nothing but a ton of water there last year.  But magically now there are dandelions.  Generally I don't care much about dandelions, in fact I like that I can go out to my parents' house and pick several buckets of the things, and they are sort of pretty.  But here in town too many people spray and I don't want to risk using ours, plus they spread into areas I don't want them.

I also want to put down paths between these areas.  This will get rid of some of the dirt and weeds.  All of this is a slow process for me.  Eventually the actual yard/garden will look more like my imagined yard/garden.

The front yard, is just that.  I am mostly okay with this.  As I said, I do not hate grass.  When my kids were young I wanted grass.  It is good for playing.  I have a few lawn games, and we can set them up and play them in the front yard.  

I have irises and roses planted in the front.  I tried to grow lavender and hydrangeas.  Then I tried lavender in the back.  It did not make it either place.  I have planted hydrangeas three times; twice here and once in my last home.   I do not know why they have failed.  The lavender I want because I love the smell and color of lavender, and I have plans for the uses of this herb.  So I am likely to continue trying to grow it.  The hydrangeas I want, also because they are beautiful, but it stems originally from a book I read with my children, and then with my students, and now I NEED to have it in my garden.  I have several plants because of books I have read, or the name of the plant just makes me happy.  They want to be part of the story that is my garden.  I am likely to try growing hydrangeas again as well.  But maybe not this year, we will see how all of the other things go first.  

My strawberries have invaded the area that I normally plant tomatoes and peppers.  The irises need to be dug and spread as they have multiplied.  The fairy garden it pretty good, but I saw a few dandelions in there.  The paths need to be laid out, and all things living there killed/removed.  The leaves and sticks need to be hauled to the tree dump.  My shed needs to be painted.  I need to build a Little Free Library for my yard.  I might need to build a TARDIS for my yard - someday I will have a TARDIS.  I am just pretty sure it won't be this year.  My fence might get painted, and my decks should be stained.    Yeah, I am pretty sure not all of this will get finished this year.  But we will see.  I will make the list and start to check things off.   Little by little the garden will grow.

"Might I," quavered Mary,  "might I have a bit of earth?"

Frances Hodgson Burnett

The Secret Garden