Imagine that there is a football game scheduled for this evening. Both teams have been working hard. There have been long practices and drills. All of the players are ready for the game.
We all understand that going into a game, one team is going to win. The other is going to lose. This does not stop us from wanting to watch the game. It does not stop the players from wanting to do their best. That is what GAME is.
But lets say that a parent or two who support Team A just don't want to see their team lose. So, it being a home game, they rig the scoreboard so that it will never register a point for Team B. This is a great idea, right? This way Team A cannot lose.
Now a parent from Team B also does not want to see his team lose. So he decides to let all of the air out of the ball. This way, Team A cannot win.
Both teams go out on the field. They stand there as the clock ticks.. game time is running down. But they can't play. Eventually, the game is over. The players of both teams are still standing out on the field just looking around. The crowd looks at the scoreboard:
0 TO 0
Cheering and clapping, the people sitting on Team A's side of the field are happy. "Team B didn't win!"
Also cheering and clapping, those sitting on Team B's side look at the scoreboard. "YAY! Team A didn't win!"
Everyone has failed to realize that though the other team did not win, their own team has also failed to win. But even worse than that, there was no game. The players did not play. No good came of this at all. Even when MY team loses the game, I have enjoyed it. I saw some good plays, maybe bad ones too. One of the players may have even had an excellent game even if his team lost. But not here at this game. Everyone who walks away is a loser.
As I was watching the Hugo's last night, the whole thing just made me sad. So many things about it (and not just the award ceremony, but most everything about this year) has been hard for me to take in. When I woke up this morning I was still thinking about it as you might be able to tell from my football analogy. My brain was trying to make sense of it all while I slept. Sadly it came up with a no win situation.
I watched the No Awards being called out. And people were cheering for that, really? YAY! We all lost?
I have loved science fiction and fantasy my whole life. I have bookshelves filled with books. I do not pick a book because the author is on Team A or Team B. Sometimes I do pick a book because of the author. Oh, this person wrote a new book? I loved the last one I read by them. But never because the author is on the RIGHT Team.
Last night tears filled my eyes as I knew that I HAD LOST! It was me, it was you, it was him and her,
WE ALL LOST THE GAME LAST NIGHT!
Sunday, August 23, 2015
Thursday, August 13, 2015
First Day of School
Today is Zeb and Ella's first day of school. Melinda and I still have about 10 days to go.
First days (and last days) are nearly always emotional days. There are so many emotions built into them; excitement, fear, dread, longing. This year Zeb is a junior and Ella a sophomore. So you would not think that this would be "ONE" of those 1st days, at least not for a mom. But this one seems to have been the hardest one yet. I know, I am still in the midst of it and it might not feel as hard in a month or two.
This is the first day of school, that Zeb is driving to school on his own. Funny how now taking that four year old to preschool all of those years ago doesn't seem to hard. That day the worst that could have happened is he missed me, he fell and scratched his knee, or some kid wouldn't share a toy. This year my anxiety is along the lines of ditches, trains, cars, even deer. Followed by hospitals or worse.
Did they make it to school? Were they on time? What about the half hour drive home when we used to talk about their day?
I know it is crazy, but I feel as if I should get in the car and follow them just to make sure they get there safely. I don't and won't. But believe me, I want to.
First days (and last days) are nearly always emotional days. There are so many emotions built into them; excitement, fear, dread, longing. This year Zeb is a junior and Ella a sophomore. So you would not think that this would be "ONE" of those 1st days, at least not for a mom. But this one seems to have been the hardest one yet. I know, I am still in the midst of it and it might not feel as hard in a month or two.
This is the first day of school, that Zeb is driving to school on his own. Funny how now taking that four year old to preschool all of those years ago doesn't seem to hard. That day the worst that could have happened is he missed me, he fell and scratched his knee, or some kid wouldn't share a toy. This year my anxiety is along the lines of ditches, trains, cars, even deer. Followed by hospitals or worse.
Did they make it to school? Were they on time? What about the half hour drive home when we used to talk about their day?
I know it is crazy, but I feel as if I should get in the car and follow them just to make sure they get there safely. I don't and won't. But believe me, I want to.
Monday, June 1, 2015
Being a Mom
Not that this is the first time anyone has said this, not that it is even the first time I had thought it; but being a mom is hard.
Today I dropped off my two oldest kids (a sophomore and a junior) at their school. They are going on a trip to Washington D.C. I am so completely excited about it. I went to Washington D.C. when I was a junior. It was amazing. I know they will have a great time.
But...
But watching them step onto the bus 10,000 thoughts are going through my mind. The same 10,000 thoughts I have been having for the last week. What if they lose their money? What if someone steals their money? What if they get lost? What if they get sick? What if they forgot to pack something? What if after what if.
Zeb is worried about flying. Ella said she didn't know if she wanted to leave Nebraska. I don't care how old they are. They are still my babies. And when I know these things, I feel this hard stone inside my stomach. I ask myself why I am sending them off? Then I tell myself, they are fine. They are going to have a great time. It will be wonderful.
Today I dropped off my two oldest kids (a sophomore and a junior) at their school. They are going on a trip to Washington D.C. I am so completely excited about it. I went to Washington D.C. when I was a junior. It was amazing. I know they will have a great time.
But...
But watching them step onto the bus 10,000 thoughts are going through my mind. The same 10,000 thoughts I have been having for the last week. What if they lose their money? What if someone steals their money? What if they get lost? What if they get sick? What if they forgot to pack something? What if after what if.
Zeb is worried about flying. Ella said she didn't know if she wanted to leave Nebraska. I don't care how old they are. They are still my babies. And when I know these things, I feel this hard stone inside my stomach. I ask myself why I am sending them off? Then I tell myself, they are fine. They are going to have a great time. It will be wonderful.
Being a mom is hard.
How many hours left until I can go and get my babies?
Saturday, May 30, 2015
Summer
Finally summer is here for all of us, though you wouldn't have been able to convince me of that last night. I stepped outside and nearly ran back into the house for a coat.
Mel and I have been finished with school for most of a month. But we were waiting for the other two to finish. I had been longing for the long warm days where we would all be together. The days the we could do anything, or nothing.
And as always it seems that my dream of summer and the reality of summer are not going to quite match up. Mel was at camp this week. Next week Zeb and Ella get to go to Washington DC. There are little blocks of time all over my treasured summer months that are filling up with things. All of these things are there because we want them. But only a week into summer vacation and I already feel the end of summer coming on.
Between board games, movies and baking cookies; I have been getting lessons planned and rearranging my empty classroom. My ToDo list is always filled, filled with things I want or need to do. My pile of books to read grows, just as my pile of stories to write. Craft projects, garden, house things.
Now it is time for me to get out my thick black sharpie and mark oFf a few blocks of time on that calendar
Mel and I have been finished with school for most of a month. But we were waiting for the other two to finish. I had been longing for the long warm days where we would all be together. The days the we could do anything, or nothing.
And as always it seems that my dream of summer and the reality of summer are not going to quite match up. Mel was at camp this week. Next week Zeb and Ella get to go to Washington DC. There are little blocks of time all over my treasured summer months that are filling up with things. All of these things are there because we want them. But only a week into summer vacation and I already feel the end of summer coming on.
Between board games, movies and baking cookies; I have been getting lessons planned and rearranging my empty classroom. My ToDo list is always filled, filled with things I want or need to do. My pile of books to read grows, just as my pile of stories to write. Craft projects, garden, house things.
Now it is time for me to get out my thick black sharpie and mark oFf a few blocks of time on that calendar
DO NOTHING
SIT ON THE FLOOR AND HUG MY KIDS
LAUGH
READ
MAKE POPCORN
(and I almost forgot)
LEARN TO PLAY MY NEW HARP
(and I almost forgot)
LEARN TO PLAY MY NEW HARP
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