September 11, 2012

There have been so many posts and pictures on Facebook today about September 11. There have even been discussions around the table at lunch about where we were when the towers were hit by those planes. I can tell you exactly where I was when it was happening. I was sitting in my living room holding tightly to my babies as I watched everything on TV. Zeb was only 3 years old and Ella was 1. I held them both on my lap. I hardly wanted to let them out of my sight. Clearly my town was not going to be a target. But yet I was scared, I was worried about what was happening. I was sad and hurting for all of those people and their families. That day I called my parents, I talked to my husband of the phone a couple times at least, I spoke with my friends. I needed to make sure that everyone I cared about was just fine. I needed to make sure they knew that I was thinking about them. September 11, 2001 is truly something I will never forget.

But right along with these memories, and only two years later, I can tell you again exactly where I was and what I was doing on the morning of September 11. This was September 11, 2003. I was laying in a hospital bed watching all of the TV footage and listening to everything that was playing about “Remembering September 11, 2001.” Though this September 11, two years later was a good and wonderful thing for me, as my daughter Melinda Johanna was born that morning. Melinda is 9 years old today. Part of me wants to protect her from all of the sad memories that her birthday brings to so many people. I want to make sure that it is a happy day for her. Even as we do this, we also talk about what happened on September 11, 2001. It is something that all of them need to know about.

So remembering September 11th brings about all sorts of emotions for me.

Chicon 7

The 70^th Worldcon - The World Science Fiction Convention

This was my first convention ever and to say that it was amazing is a huge understatement. From the moment we walked into the door it was like I was home. These were 'my' people. They were people who were interested in the same things as I am. They think about the same things as I do. They were doing or had done the same things as I want to do. I was not just that Nebraska farm girl who was interested in odd things. I was just one of thousands of others who was excited about the upcoming episode of Doctor Who and liked geeky things.

Part of me felt so much like a fan girl. I was just amazed that I would find myself in the same room as so many authors, Neil Gaiman, David Brin, or George R.R. Martin and so many more. I had read the words that they had written and here they were sitting only feet away from me. There were so many things to see and do that it was hard to figure out what I wanted to do.

And yet so much of what I got out of the weekend had nothing to do with that. I had promised that Thursday, the first day of the convention, I would start using the word 'writer' to describe me. This is still something that I find hard to do. Words are powerful. They mean something to me. I have been working the last several months on editing two of my 'novels.' This is another word that I find hard to use when talking about my own words. To say that I write stories, is much easier than to say I am a writer or that I wrote a novel.

Being able to sit at a table in the bar or in the SFWA suite with others, people who are writers and editors, well that was just incredible. But the most incredible thing about it was that many of the things they were talking about were my own fears. They were questions that I had been asking myself. They were talking about their work and things they did, and I found out that I did many of these things myself. These people made me feel that maybe I am a writer. Maybe someday I will be sitting there at the bar talking while someone is listening and wondering if they might someday be able to do this amazing thing themselves. It made me feel just a little bit more brave about the next steps that I need to take to make that happen.

Chicon 7 was an adventure that I will remember for the rest of my life! I can't wait for Lone Star Con 3 next year.