As I sit in front of my computer to talk to my students... Hmm... I am an online teacher now? I miss my kids. I see them for a while each day from my computer screen. It isn't the same thing as seeing them every day, but it is much better than not seeing them at all. They miss each other, I can tell. They are happy to see each other on their own computer screens.
I miss seeing the K-2 students. I don't see them every day. They aren't in the hallway asking if I am the recess teacher. I don't get to play with them at recess. I don't get to hear their jokes or see them smile.
I miss seeing the 5th and 6th graders. I don't see their art projects. I don't figure out math problems with them, or make them run around the block. I don't talk about Zartov with them.
The world feels weird to me.
But we are all healthy, we are all safe, and I am happy about that.
I put my calendar for March here, not because I want everyone to join me, not because I want everyone to see what I will be doing. Before COVID-19, I looked at my calendar for the next two months and it made me tired just thinking about all of the things that would be happening. That isn't to say I did not want to do these things. As an introvert, I crave quiet times, I actually like staying home. Home is a good place to be. I like being somewhere, anywhere, when there are less than 10 people. These are happy things for me. Not that I would ever wish for anything like this. And truly everything on this calendar is or was something I was looking forward to. I am sad that I will not get to see Ella and the rest of the college do their Songfest. I am sad that I won't get to take Zeb, Melinda and my parents (and anyone else from church or the community) to watch Ella's Children's Theater performance. I am sad that I won't get to go to National Robotics and watch Melinda and the Hampton Hawks (and the rest of the National's students) operate their robots. I am sad that I will not get to listen to Melinda sing and play her trombone CRC and State Choir/Band, or to hear her Poetry (about space and the universe) at District and State Speech. I am not tired now when I look at my calendar, I am sad. I wonder when my niece's Confirmation will be. I wonder when my other niece's graduation will be. I know we will still do these things. But our calendars are empty now.Yes, the world feels weird to me.
I go to the store and see the empty shelves. I know that there should be toilet paper. There should be milk and bread. Nothing has happened to the supplies that are needed to produce toilet paper. The factories are still functioning, the truck drivers still driving their trucks. The cows are still on the farms. The bakeries are still baking bread. But the shelves are empty. I wonder where they put all of that toilet paper? I mean, are they using it as a coffee table in their living room? I tell myself that in a few days, people will realize that this isn't a shortage. Then the shelves will be full again. I know that something is going on, something that we are right to be concerned about. But be calm, be still, and breathe. Things are going to be okay.
The world feels weird to me.
I was looking at taking Melinda on a college visit this summer. We have already done three college visits. This fourth one is to a place that is a little farther away. So we thought we would use it as sort of a family vacation. I would like to think about it, to plan things a little. But I am not because,
The world feels weird to me.
I am not scared. Not really. Maybe I should be more worried. I don't know. I probably won't know for a while.
The world feels weird to me.
Ella is home from college. This makes me happy. I miss her when she is gone. My kids and I sit on the floor and talk. We watch movies and play games. We cuddle up and read things or look at things. I like these things. Oh, and we all go to school online now. But it is okay.
I like seeing how people are trying to help each other. I like watching videos of my friends, neighbors, and family. People are sharing time and resources. We just need to take care of each other and ourselves. Just slow down. Hug your children. Call a friend. What or who is really important? This world is different for everyone. Be patient while we figure out how it works.
It was thundering and storming and pouring rain yesterday. By the time I went to bed the wind was blowing and snow was covering the ground. This is one weird story. I can't guess how it is going to end.
*HUG* someone today for me. Nah, actually *HUG* EVERYONE today for me!
