No Plot? No Problem!

A few days ago, I bought the book, "No Plot? No Problem!" by Chris Baty. He is one of the people who started up NaNoWriMo. And this book is to be read as you are getting ready to start NaNoWriMo and the rest of it read while you are working on your story. So I am a little behind. I finished my story and then I read the book about writing it. Ha!

I just finished reading the book today. I really enjoyed it. It has once again gotten me excited about NaNoWriMo. It is too bad that it is only February. But I think what I really want to do is what he was talking about in the end of the book. I need to start revising and editing my book. I couldn't do it in December. I was still very excited about the whole thing. But there might have been enough time now. Part of me really wants to print out my story. But that seems to be such a waste of paper, as I know that I will be doing some changes.

Who Am I?

There is actually a lot of different parts to this question. There have been many times in my life when I have sat down to think of what I wanted or where I wanted to go from here. As many times as I think that I have it figured out, I seem to have to start over almost from the beginning. I am back to that point. less than a year ago, I felt secure and new what the future held for me. I had plans and things to work on. There were things I wanted and needed and things I hoped for. And now I am trying to figure much of this out again. It is like trying to get to know myself again. What do I like? Why do I like it? What do I miss when it is gone? What am I going to put time and effort into? Where do I want to be six months from now? What do I want to be doing? Unlike the first few times that I needed to think all of this through, it is not just me anymore. So a lot of what I can or want to do is based on what my kids need and what is best for all of us. When I was 22 years old I got my first teaching job in Grand Island. And sometime after that I moved to a tiny little house in Grand Island. And now 18 years later, I am again sleeping in my old bedroom at my parents house. The funny thing about that being my bedroom is that we finally moved into that house while I was in college. So the room was actually only mine about one weekend a month and then for about six months after I finished college. I have been really slow about hanging things up on the walls since the kids and I moved in here. I have been thinking a lot about why that is. I am not sure that I have a reason yet. But I know that it has to do with my not knowing what was going to be happening. This past month I have been putting a lot more things on the walls and working some more with the last few boxes. There are many days, that I wish for my own house, and my own walls. But there are also many times that I am very happy to be here. Things are safe here. Even with not having any idea of what will be happening six months from now, or even tomorrow. Worms is my home. It always has been. Almost everyone here is my family. I am still not sure what I want or who I am. This seems to depend on the day or what mood I am in. When we first moved here, I thought I would sit and not many any decisions for six months. But it has been six months now. And I still don't know what is going to happen or who I am. But I am slowly working on it. That is why writing has been an important thing for me. That is something that I have been doing for years. I think that is at least a part of who I am. And one thing, one part of me that has never been in question is that I am first and foremost a mother to my children. I am their teacher. This part of me, is at least a bit in question. I want to keep home schooling them. I like it. I like spending time with them. I think that they like it. But some times I feel that I need to do something more to support my family. But for now at least, I will stay here until I feel that I need to do something else.