Planning, Plotting, and ...

I have been wanting to go on a trip to Wales for a very long time, at least several years.  In fact I had planned on going in 2013, then when that wasn't going to work, 2014.  But that didn't work either.  So when I decided that we would actually be able to do it this year, I was quite excited.

I started going through all of the files and links I had saved from the last time I had planned this trip.  I tried to figure out when would be the best time to go and how long it would take to get our passports and what we needed to do to get our passports.

So many things had to be decided.  Where would we stay?  What did we want to do or see?  How long could we be gone?  But finally we just took a jump.  We ended up talking to a travel agent.  I had not really considered this much.  But as I was going to need an international driver's licence and they were the only place I could get one from, I figured what could it hurt.

We sat down and talked to Leslie for quite a while.  She was very helpful and not at all pushy.  I like that in a person.  Then of course I went home, and spent a couple of days just thinking about the stuff that she had said.  It turns out that we did go back to Leslie.  She got us our plane tickets.  We talked to her about the hotels and cottages.  But they do not do the self-catering cottages.  This is something I thought we needed.  We needed to be able to save on the eating out all of the time as well as having a place to do laundry.  I felt that we would be more comfortable in a home-like surrounding rather than a hotel for 2-3 weeks.

So I did lots of searching for a cottage.  I found one that I that would be great for us.  Madog Wells.  I contacted them and got it set up for the dates that we needed.  Now all we needed what a hotel in Dublin.  We went back in and talked to Leslie about that.  She did some searching, but hotels outside of the USA are interesting.  Normally it is rather hard to find a place for more than 2 people.  And I was looking for a room for 5.  Leslie was having a hard time with it.  She suggested that we look for something similar to the cottage arrangement.  We went home and did just that.  In the end we set up our own hotels in Dublin as well.

One of the most interesting things about the early planning and set up, we dealing with the passports.  Just getting all of the papers signed and ready was a task.  Jonathan had to sign things for the girls giving me permission to take them out of the country.  Then we realized that Zeb and I had my parents' address on our driver's licence.  They wouldn't let us get passports with the wrong address.  So we had to get new licences.  More waiting...  Finally those came in and it was time to go in to the passport office.

It is lucky that Leslie had told me that I would have to write a check at the passport office.  I hardly every use checks.  But that is how they do it.  Of course the funny thing is that I didn't have to write ONE check.  Each of the passports had to have its own check attached to it, and then there was another check for the Hall county office.  FIVE checks.  I was sweating it... Luckily I had five checks left... not a single more.  Or I would have had to come back another day to finish this job, something that should have been easy.

Of course now all we had to do was wait.  Plane tickets, housing, car rental, passports.  Mostly we were ready.

Planning a trip right at the end of school is sort of a crazy thing to do when you are a teacher.  So many things to do.  I felt very busy the last few weeks before our trip.  Much job related stress, even to the point of finding out I may not have a job when we get back from the vacation.  But there is nothing I can do about it, the tickets are non-refundable.  Even if I wanted to try and save the money in case I didn't have a job, I couldn't.  So we were going, and I was just going to try and not stress about it.  (of course I knew that had I knew about the possible lack of job, I wouldn't have planned the trip at all...timing is very important in life.)

Doing wash, setting clothes in bags.  What are we forgetting?  What will we need?

Are we ready for this?  I can't believe I am taking my kids out of the country and a two week long vacation when life is getting so unstable.  Breathe.  It is going to be amazing.

Who wins the game?

Imagine that there is a football game scheduled for this evening.  Both teams have been working hard.  There have been long practices and drills.  All of the players are ready for the game.

We all understand that going into a game, one team is going to win.  The other is going to lose.  This does not stop us from wanting to watch the game.  It does not stop the players from wanting to do their best.  That is what GAME is.

But lets say that a parent or two who support Team A just don't want to see their team lose.  So, it being a home game, they rig the scoreboard so that it will never register a point for Team B.  This is a great idea, right?  This way Team A cannot lose.

Now a parent from Team B also does not want to see his team lose.  So he decides to let all of the air out of the ball.  This way, Team A cannot win.

Both teams go out on the field.  They stand there as the clock ticks.. game time is running down.  But they can't play.  Eventually, the game is over.  The players of both teams are still standing out on the field just looking around.  The crowd looks at the scoreboard:

0 TO 0

Cheering and clapping, the people sitting on Team A's side of the field are happy.  "Team B didn't win!"

Also cheering and clapping, those sitting on Team B's side look at the scoreboard.  "YAY!  Team A didn't win!"

Everyone has failed to realize that though the other team did not win, their own team has also failed to win.  But even worse than that, there was no game.  The players did not play.  No good came of this at all.  Even when MY team loses the game, I have enjoyed it.  I saw some good plays, maybe bad ones too.  One of the players may have even had an excellent game even if his team lost.  But not here at this game.  Everyone who walks away is a loser.


As I was watching the Hugo's last night, the whole thing just made me sad.  So many things about it (and not just the award ceremony, but most everything about this year) has been hard for me to take in.  When I woke up this morning I was still thinking about it as you might be able to tell from my football analogy.  My brain was trying to make sense of it all while I slept.  Sadly it came up with a no win situation.

I watched the No Awards being called out.  And people were cheering for that, really?  YAY!  We all lost?
I have loved science fiction and fantasy my whole life.  I have bookshelves filled with books.  I do not pick a book because the author is on Team A or Team B.  Sometimes I do pick a book because of the author.  Oh, this person wrote a new book?  I loved the last one I read by them.   But never because the author is on the RIGHT Team.

Last night tears filled my eyes as I knew that I HAD LOST!  It was me, it was you, it was him and her,
WE ALL LOST THE GAME LAST NIGHT!

First Day of School

Today is Zeb and Ella's first day of school.  Melinda and I still have about 10 days to go.

First days (and last days) are nearly always emotional days.  There are so many emotions built into them; excitement, fear, dread, longing.  This year Zeb is a junior and Ella a sophomore.  So you would not think that this would be "ONE" of those 1st days, at least not for a mom.  But this one seems to have been the hardest one yet.  I know, I am still in the midst of it and it might not feel as hard in a month or two.

This is the first day of school, that Zeb is driving to school on his own.  Funny how now taking that four year old to preschool all of those years ago doesn't seem to hard.  That day the worst that could have happened is he missed me, he fell and scratched his knee, or some kid wouldn't share a toy.  This year my anxiety is along the lines of ditches, trains, cars, even deer. Followed by hospitals or worse.

Did they make it to school?  Were they on time?  What about the half hour drive home when we used to talk about their day?

I know it is crazy, but I feel as if I should get in the car and follow them just to make sure they get there safely.  I don't and won't.  But believe me, I want to.

Being a Mom

Not that this is the first time anyone has said this, not that it is even the first time I had thought it; but being a mom is hard.

Today I dropped off my two oldest kids (a sophomore and a junior) at their school.  They are going on a trip to Washington D.C.  I am so completely excited about it.  I went to Washington D.C. when I was a junior.  It was amazing.  I know they will have a great time.

But...
But watching them step onto the bus 10,000 thoughts are going through my mind.  The same 10,000 thoughts I have been having for the last week.  What if they lose their money?  What if someone steals their money?  What if they get lost?  What if they get sick?  What if they forgot to pack something?  What if after what if.

Zeb is worried about flying.  Ella said she didn't know if she wanted to leave Nebraska.  I don't care how old they are.  They are still my babies.  And when I know these things, I feel this hard stone inside my stomach.  I ask myself why I am sending them off?  Then I tell myself, they are fine.  They are going to have a great time.  It will be wonderful.

Being a mom is hard.

How many hours left until I can go and get my babies?

Summer

Finally summer is here for all of us, though you wouldn't have been able to convince me of that last night.  I stepped outside and nearly ran back into the house for a coat.

Mel and I have been finished with school for most of a month.  But we were waiting for the other two to finish.  I had been longing for the long warm days where we would all be together.  The days the we could do anything, or nothing.

And as always it seems that my dream of summer and the reality of summer are not going to quite match up.  Mel was at camp this week.  Next week Zeb and Ella get to go to Washington DC.  There are little blocks of time all over my treasured summer months that are filling up with things.  All of these things are there because we want them.  But only a week into summer vacation and I already feel the end of summer coming on.

Between board games, movies and baking cookies; I have been getting lessons planned and rearranging my empty classroom.  My ToDo list is always filled, filled with things I want or need to do.  My pile of books to read grows, just as my pile of stories to write.  Craft projects, garden, house things.

Now it is time for me to get out my thick black sharpie and mark oFf a few blocks of time on that calendar

DO NOTHING

SIT ON THE FLOOR AND HUG MY KIDS

LAUGH

READ

MAKE POPCORN

(and I almost forgot)
LEARN TO PLAY MY NEW HARP

Write or Die

Not a death threat or anything. But as I was driving my kids to school this morning, I was thinking about what I would write for my post NaNoWriMo thoughts. Of course there is always meaning in the title. A while back I watched an anime called, “Read or Die.” I was drawn to it first because of the title. Then as I watched the opening scenes, the main character wakes up surrounded by books. Every part of her apartment is covered in piles of books. Yeah, this was looking like my kind of show. Of course she had just gotten paid. Guess what she did with her paycheck... she went and bought all sorts of new books. As the show continued, I learned that she was like a paper controlling super hero. She uses her power to control paper and it forms into anything she needs, a shield, a plane, anything.

So what does this have to do with me, my NaNo 2014, and the title of this post? Well, that is a really good question. This year NaNoWriMo was very different for me. In the last 5 days of the month, I wrote 33,000+ words. I have found myself behind on my word count before, but nothing like that. I sort of expected that. I mean with school, papers to grade and lessons to plan, as well as two kids in high school, and one in middle school - all of the activities and things that I need to do I was pretty sure this was not going to be one of those 'winning' kinds of years. I had actually hoped for 30,000. (I secretly had not given up on 50,000, but I was keeping that to myself.)

So the day before Thanksgiving (no school) I sat down to write. The story came easily... and I kept writing. By Saturday morning I knew I could do it.. it would be hard, but I could do it. Then 10K words on Saturday. WOW! Most ever words in one day for me. Which left me a tiny 1800 that needed to be written on Sunday. But Saturday night, I did not want to stop writing. I was in a place in the story that was so exciting. New things were happening. Things I had not even planned at all. And I wanted to see where it was going. It was getting late and my eyes were blurry. I kept typing. But all sorts of strange typos were appearing on my screen. So I knew I needed to go to sleep. This is where the 'write or die' comes in. Even knowing I needed to sleep, I really really just wanted to write. It reminded me of the girl in the anime.

Then Sunday came. I easily finished. Or I should say reached 50,000. I am no where near finished with the story. I might be half way. But I am not even sure about that. Now, I have to get some of my 'real life work' done. Grade papers. Prepare for the coming week. I felt so horrible not writing. My characters were screaming inside my head. They still are! Some part of me has always known that I had to write. I can go for a while without writing. But eventually I have to 'Write or Die.'

The Big "A"

Right now there are no details.

Right now nothing is set in stone.

Right now the words needed to describe this do not exist.

Seeing words like

accepted,

publish,

discuss,

details, and  

contract

in an email today.

Well, that's new, and trust me I like it.

I will write more about this sometime soon.