Thoughts on being an introvert...

A few days ago I wrote about some of my thoughts on being an introvert and a single mom of middle and high school aged kids.  It has been something I have been thinking about for a while now.  But I thought that I had finished that line of thought.  Then I noticed another article that had been posted on facebook about introverts.  This article also had a link to a video.  The woman speaking was the author of a book on introverts.  Interestingly enough I had purchased her book and read it earlier this year.

After listening to her speak I knew I had more on this topic that I wanted to write about.

Coming home from WorldCon a few weeks ago it seemed that a lot of my thoughts still have been centered there.  I made a couple of observations while I was in TX at the convention.  One of these I shared with my friend, Jay Werkheiser.  He seemed to think it was pretty good and true as well.  This is what I observed at WorldCon...

I decided that I could easily pick out the people who were introverts just by the way they walked through the lobbies of our hotel and the halls of the convention center.  The introverts were the ones who were looking at the mass of people in front of them.  They were the ones trying to judge which way all of the people were going to walk.  They wanted to see the signs - right or left.  They needed to know this so that they would be able to move out of the way as they passed by the people going in the opposite direction.

Now of course, I knew this to be a fact, because that is exactly what I was doing.  I was watching so that I could stay out of the way.  And guess what, there were tons of others doing the same thing!

It was sort of a dance.  Each of us trying to stay out of the other's way.  Now this should surprise no one, that at a GeekCon, any GeekCon, that the place would be filled with introverts.

Oh, here is a related observation, when walking with extroverted people, or at least those who were much less introverted than myself, it was more of a "Parting of the waters" kind of thing.  These extroverts would walk as if they were on a mission.  They would walk straight through the crowd.  I, and other introverts,  would follow in the wake that they created.

Back to the article I read and the author speaking about her book, well not even her book.  She was speaking about being an introvert in a world that is more based on being an extrovert.  I had loved her book.  I took notes as I read it.  I wrote about it and my thoughts in my journal.  And as I watched the video well, at a couple of points, I even had tears in my eyes.  It is sort of a strange thing, but knowing that there is someone, somewhere in the world that truly understands you is a good feeling.  It is nice to know that it is good to be like me.  It is nice to know that there are others in the world that find many social interaction (including school and workplaces) tiring and even stressful.

I love that my new world of writer friends has shown me this.  I think that is actually one of the reason I love WorldCon.  It is packing 1000's of introverts with shared interests (SF & F) in a hotel/convention center and just watching what happens.

Guess what, we don't sit alone in our hotel rooms reading.  Hehe..  well there actually is a bit of that going on.  But what really happens is that we are free.  We are safe to be who we are.  We know that we are okay with our friends or fellow con-attendees sitting in the lobby or at a table reading.  It is fine to talk to them.  But it is also okay just to sit next to them and read your own book.

She talked about taking books in her suitcase.  She said part of the reason she loved her grandfather's place was the pile of books on every surface.  It was as if she was talking to me.  She also said that she had always wanted to be a writer.

I don't know how much of this is due to my being an introvert or if there are other reasons for it, but right now I feel my life is at a turning point.  I need to decide somethings, I need to do something, I need to figure out what I want and work to make it happen.

It has been a really slow process for me.  I joke that I am still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.  But more and more I think like Susan Cain, I want to be a writer.  I know that this isn't likely to be my main job.  So I guess I still really need to figure this out.  Des told me that I should go back to school and finish my degree in Computer Science.  I looked at this a little bit.  But I am not sure this is really what I want.  I also am unsure if teaching is really my thing.  Though being back here with these kids makes me think I would not hate a real full time teaching position.  I guess I will just have to give it a little thought.

When looking at classes I also considered school, but more related to writing.  This is something more like children's lit, or actual writing or english.  I believe the only way I would do something like this would be if it was related to teaching somehow.  Though the AboutSF stuff and the classes listed there were very interesting and exciting to me.  I do believe that I am going to sign up for that one free class they had listed.

So this is straying a bit from the introverted topic.  But I guess that is how it is with my thoughts at this time.  Oh, I guess just for myself, I am going to write down just exactly what I want to do.  (None of you read this bit.  hehe..)
1.  Be a mom.
2.  Be a writer or even an author.
3. Work with kids sort of like I did at Futurekids.  It would be amazing to do these SF workshops and classes as well as NaNo like writing classes and units.  Of course there could even be computer or math things, or science as well.
So how can I do this and get paid?  But not necessarily be a classroom teacher?  That is the question.  Could it be a homeschool related thing?  Or a summer program?  Maybe a learning center?  I am just not sure right now.  But I think it is something I want to play around with.