Times seems to be moving very quickly right now. I posted may times in June. But then nothing since July 1st. As I sat down here to write, I had several idea of of what I was going to write about. But I have now changed my mind. I looked at the calendar today and realized that next week is my daughter's birthday. It is hard to believe that this month is already getting near the end. I have not only been away from writing here on this blog. But I have not spent much time actually writing. So just what have I been doing the last 19 days? The answer to this question is easy. I have been reading. I have 12 more days to get all of my reading finished for WorldCon. I still have almost 1 1/2 novels left to read. There are other categories that I know I will not even get to. But I am hoping to be able to finish the novel category.
To be fair, I am not spending all my time reading. I am just reading during the time I would normally be writing and reading. I have still been taking my kids to the pool. The girls and I are still doing our Japanese lessons. We are still playing and talking and exercising. Oh, and I have been reading other writer's stories and doing critiques on them for my writing group. That is new. And it takes more time than I thought it would. Hehe.. This is due mostly to me and the way I do things. I have to read the stories at least two times before I do the critique. Then as I am writing it up, I am skimming over the story a third time. So far I would say that I have read at least 3 stories each week. I haven't sent in critiques for all of those stories. It is just my form of practice. I am not sure if that is getting any easier yet or not.
Oh, and an update on my last post... I did put one of my stories into the queue. That is a little scary to me. Mostly, I am trying not to think about it. Right now, I just want to get this novel finished and get started on the next one. It is time for me to get back to my reading. Here is a funny thing, in the mail today I received the book that I had ordered. I really, really want to read it. I have been carrying it around with me most of the afternoon. But I can't! I have a job to do. In 12 days (or less) I will be free to read or write anything else. Now I need to finish the Hugo stories and get one more step closer to the trip to WorldCon. I can't wait for that!
Friday, July 19, 2013
Monday, July 1, 2013
Writer's Group
Well, last week I did something that feels pretty scary to me. I had been talking to my friend, Jay Werkheiser about some things. He suggested that I join a writer's group. There I would critique other writer's work and they would critique mine. Both the critiquing and the being critiqued would 'in theory' help to improve my writing. So that night I looked over the group that he suggested. But of course being the chicken that I am, I did not join until the next day. hehe.. This was not the "Oh, this is a good idea" sort of thing. It was more of a "No, please don't make me" sort of thing. I do know that it is or would be a good idea. So even though I didn't really want to do it, I did it.
I spent most of that day looking over the site and getting a feel of how things worked. Then I finally got into the area where I could look at the stories that others had up to be critiqued. I told myself, okay, this shouldn't be too hard. After all, I'm a teacher, a good part of my job is similar to critiquing someone's work. But no, it didn't really feel like that. I do not know if that was the part of me that was terrified of having other people read my words. Or was it the part of me that does nearly anything to avoid conflict. It might have even been the part of me that just likes to stay hidden. I like to watch and observe. But writing a critique on someone's story was not just observing.
In truth, I am sure it was all of those things and maybe even more that was making this feel like a huge step. Before I even read one of the current stories, I went back and read a past one and the critiques that others had done on it. Eventually I had no more excuses. So I read one story. Then I read another. And I read a third story. Now I didn't really do this because I just loved the stories and wanted to read them. It was still a form of avoidance. I was looking for a story that it would be easy for me to say something about. After all, this was my first interaction on this site. I wanted it to be easy...and easy here would have been writing a critique on a story that I mostly enjoyed but had clear ideas that might have been helpful to the author.
So by now, it is night again. I still have not written my critique. I go back to Jay and ask for words of wisdom and guidance. Or maybe what I wanted was for him to tell me, "Just do it!"
He actually did both of those things. Thank you Jay! I sat down once more with the story (the third one I had read) and wrote a note to the author. Hehe.. change the word a little. Does that make it feel less terrifying? I took a big breath or two before pressing the submit button. And it was off. Phew! That was work!
Of course as you might have noticed this was only the first step of this process. I am supposed to do at least one critique a week to keep myself an active member of this group. This is also how you are allowed to let others critique your stories. This is what I felt I wasn't ready to do. I told myself it was okay. I would do critiques for others for a couple of weeks. I just wanted to have a little time to get used to this before I thought of doing that second part of this step.
Well, the next night I got another push from my helpful friend. ;) He told me that I needed to go ahead and submit one of my own stories to the queue as soon as I was able. So much for my waiting around and well, just plan not doing that right away. I haven't yet done this. You have to have a certain number of critiques before you can submit your stories. But I did promise that I would make sure that I had that many critiques done and my own story submitted before we go to WorldCon next month.
I spent most of that day looking over the site and getting a feel of how things worked. Then I finally got into the area where I could look at the stories that others had up to be critiqued. I told myself, okay, this shouldn't be too hard. After all, I'm a teacher, a good part of my job is similar to critiquing someone's work. But no, it didn't really feel like that. I do not know if that was the part of me that was terrified of having other people read my words. Or was it the part of me that does nearly anything to avoid conflict. It might have even been the part of me that just likes to stay hidden. I like to watch and observe. But writing a critique on someone's story was not just observing.
In truth, I am sure it was all of those things and maybe even more that was making this feel like a huge step. Before I even read one of the current stories, I went back and read a past one and the critiques that others had done on it. Eventually I had no more excuses. So I read one story. Then I read another. And I read a third story. Now I didn't really do this because I just loved the stories and wanted to read them. It was still a form of avoidance. I was looking for a story that it would be easy for me to say something about. After all, this was my first interaction on this site. I wanted it to be easy...and easy here would have been writing a critique on a story that I mostly enjoyed but had clear ideas that might have been helpful to the author.
So by now, it is night again. I still have not written my critique. I go back to Jay and ask for words of wisdom and guidance. Or maybe what I wanted was for him to tell me, "Just do it!"
He actually did both of those things. Thank you Jay! I sat down once more with the story (the third one I had read) and wrote a note to the author. Hehe.. change the word a little. Does that make it feel less terrifying? I took a big breath or two before pressing the submit button. And it was off. Phew! That was work!
Of course as you might have noticed this was only the first step of this process. I am supposed to do at least one critique a week to keep myself an active member of this group. This is also how you are allowed to let others critique your stories. This is what I felt I wasn't ready to do. I told myself it was okay. I would do critiques for others for a couple of weeks. I just wanted to have a little time to get used to this before I thought of doing that second part of this step.
Well, the next night I got another push from my helpful friend. ;) He told me that I needed to go ahead and submit one of my own stories to the queue as soon as I was able. So much for my waiting around and well, just plan not doing that right away. I haven't yet done this. You have to have a certain number of critiques before you can submit your stories. But I did promise that I would make sure that I had that many critiques done and my own story submitted before we go to WorldCon next month.
Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Corn Update
No brilliant thoughts about corn or cornfields today. Just an update on the actual growth. Hehe... About 5 days ago, I was out walking and noticed that the corn was now just about knee high. And yes, it was still well before the 4th of July. I took a picture of the field with my phone. But I did not come right back here and post the picture. So now 5 days later, the corn has grown much taller than knee high. It is closer to the full length of my leg already.
Picture taken on June 6th.
Picture taken on June 19th.
Well, I will have to see if I have some more exciting thoughts to talk about tomorrow. If not, I may just sit outside and watch the corn grow.
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Writing is Work
That title makes me laugh. I never actually thought I would say that. I have been writing all of my life. I still have old faded papers filled with awful stories I wrote when I was a child. There are times in my life that I haven't written much. Maybe I just jotted down a few notes about something I would write later. Or small bits of paper with a character idea. There were a few years when my kids were babies, that I didn't really find time to write. I was lucky if I found time to sleep. But even then the scraps of paper with ideas filled my table or folder.
In fact I have learned that I have to write. If I do not write, if I do not get those words out of my brain, I think it would explode. So 'writing' has always been easy for me. And by easy of course I mean a need. Something that I didn't really have to work to do. It might have been considered work to make sure the plot made sense or at times even to finish the story. But I have never had to force myself to sit down and write.
Until now.
Something changed last year. I have yet to decide if it is a good thing or a bad thing. For my whole life (up until last year) my words had been mine. They were for me. I didn't want nor expect anyone else to ever read them. And I would have never really considered sending them out to a publisher. But last year all of that changed. I could point to many little things that have pushed me in that direction. Some of them have really excited me. They have made me hopeful. But mostly that whole idea still terrifies me. I don't want to do it. I have to force myself to do it.
It is hard to send things out. It is hard to wait to hear back from them. It is hard to read the rejection letters. Then it is even harder to do it all over again. Some of this is actually spilling over into the desire for me to even sit down and write. The last few months I have started several new stories. When I first sit down to write I am excited and ready. But after a day or two, I find that I am forcing myself to sit there. I let any little distraction get me away from my story. Now some of these distractions I have to deal with. To be fair with myself, a great many things have been going on the last few months. Some of these things have involved a lot of thought and consideration. I know that this is actually taking time away from me thinking about my stories. And it cannot be helped.
Part of me looks at my stories and the lists of places I have sent them or plan on sending them and I wonder if it is worth it. I had wrote for me. It had just made me happy. But now it feels as if I am setting myself up for quite literally 'rejection.' Writing feels like work.
I am attempting to find a way around this. I want to write. But I also want to WANT to write. So I believe I will just sit down for a time every day and try to write. This might be anything for the "Blah blah blah... I can't think of anything to write today" to the words of my stories and novels that makes me happy. On top of that I will try to write more here in my blog. I have been doing that this past month. It has been easier to write here than to work on my novels. I believe that is because I know that I am not seeking anyone's approval for these words. But I am also not ready to give up on the other. I know that even though I really dislike it, that submitting is an important thing for me to do as well. I do think that I will set up a specific time that I do that. Hopefully this way I can avoid thinking about it until that time. Even now I know there are several stories that I should be seeking to send out. But today, I will not worry about that. Today I will just write.
Oh, and the good news is... I had decided to do this on Sunday. I had actually told myself I was going to start doing this. So this morning while I took my walk, I started out by trying to think about where I wanted to go in my story. The funny thing is that instead of that story, I thought of a different story. This one I had already finished. But I thought of a way to make it better. When I got back from my walk, I sat down at my computer and reworked that story. I will let it set for a day or two. Then read over the new version and see what I think. So I am happy that today I wrote, and tomorrow I will be ready to get back to that unfinished story.
In fact I have learned that I have to write. If I do not write, if I do not get those words out of my brain, I think it would explode. So 'writing' has always been easy for me. And by easy of course I mean a need. Something that I didn't really have to work to do. It might have been considered work to make sure the plot made sense or at times even to finish the story. But I have never had to force myself to sit down and write.
Until now.
Something changed last year. I have yet to decide if it is a good thing or a bad thing. For my whole life (up until last year) my words had been mine. They were for me. I didn't want nor expect anyone else to ever read them. And I would have never really considered sending them out to a publisher. But last year all of that changed. I could point to many little things that have pushed me in that direction. Some of them have really excited me. They have made me hopeful. But mostly that whole idea still terrifies me. I don't want to do it. I have to force myself to do it.
It is hard to send things out. It is hard to wait to hear back from them. It is hard to read the rejection letters. Then it is even harder to do it all over again. Some of this is actually spilling over into the desire for me to even sit down and write. The last few months I have started several new stories. When I first sit down to write I am excited and ready. But after a day or two, I find that I am forcing myself to sit there. I let any little distraction get me away from my story. Now some of these distractions I have to deal with. To be fair with myself, a great many things have been going on the last few months. Some of these things have involved a lot of thought and consideration. I know that this is actually taking time away from me thinking about my stories. And it cannot be helped.
Part of me looks at my stories and the lists of places I have sent them or plan on sending them and I wonder if it is worth it. I had wrote for me. It had just made me happy. But now it feels as if I am setting myself up for quite literally 'rejection.' Writing feels like work.
I am attempting to find a way around this. I want to write. But I also want to WANT to write. So I believe I will just sit down for a time every day and try to write. This might be anything for the "Blah blah blah... I can't think of anything to write today" to the words of my stories and novels that makes me happy. On top of that I will try to write more here in my blog. I have been doing that this past month. It has been easier to write here than to work on my novels. I believe that is because I know that I am not seeking anyone's approval for these words. But I am also not ready to give up on the other. I know that even though I really dislike it, that submitting is an important thing for me to do as well. I do think that I will set up a specific time that I do that. Hopefully this way I can avoid thinking about it until that time. Even now I know there are several stories that I should be seeking to send out. But today, I will not worry about that. Today I will just write.
Oh, and the good news is... I had decided to do this on Sunday. I had actually told myself I was going to start doing this. So this morning while I took my walk, I started out by trying to think about where I wanted to go in my story. The funny thing is that instead of that story, I thought of a different story. This one I had already finished. But I thought of a way to make it better. When I got back from my walk, I sat down at my computer and reworked that story. I will let it set for a day or two. Then read over the new version and see what I think. So I am happy that today I wrote, and tomorrow I will be ready to get back to that unfinished story.
Friday, June 14, 2013
Driver's licence
Ah, two posts in one day. Crazy, right? Well, after I wrote the last post I went for my morning walk. And I spent some time thinking about stuff. I realized that though I had told the facts about the whole driver's licence fail... that wasn't the whole story. There was really a lot more to this thing. Most of that is the hidden stuff. I can joke about how funny it was (and after the fact, I do think it was funny), and of course still annoying. But there is a lot more to this story.
When I first moved here, I had not wanted to get my driver's licence changed to this address. It was sort of like a piece of my past that I was holding on to. My kids and I moved here with my parents after my separation. So the change of address thing had to do with change of life. It was the loss of my marriage, my home and my plans for the future. So I knew I didn't want to do anything with that at the time.
I did think that this would not be a long term thing, and I also don't like having to do things like that. It is just a little out of my comfort zone. Even though I know it was not a big deal.
Then after the demolition of my house (the address on my licence) I couldn't do it. That was a different kind of pain. It was loss of my dreams. The brokenness of my life. By this time I think it would have been okay for me to go and get my licence. But the house thing just brought all of those feelings back to the surface. So I continued to avoid it.
There was a bit of time after the house where I really dealt with a lot of that. That was when I first went to get my address changed. But as I failed to do this, I put that idea away. Maybe it wasn't time yet.
So all of this was going on in the background of my trying to get my driver's licence. It got to the point that this Monday when I didn't get my licence and knew I was going to go into St. Paul on Wednesday to get it, well, I thought of something. I thought that it was interesting, that here I am going to St. Paul to get my driver's licence. St. Paul is the place that I got my very first driver's licence when I was 16. I am living in my parents' house again, and going to the same courthouse to get my licence. It was like a circle. Much of my life has been feeling like a circle the past few months. It seems to be getting to a point where this BIG something is going to happen. Like so much of the past was practice for something else. It is a strange feeling at times.
Then I didn't get my licence there. But I went to GI. But this two was a circle. This was actually more close to the real circle that I am feeling. The last time I got my licence renewed in GI was just before I moved to Lincoln. It is funny. But I should have realized this months ago, and just gone into GI and gotten my licence. hehe.. I think I am ready for the next part of my life.
When I first moved here, I had not wanted to get my driver's licence changed to this address. It was sort of like a piece of my past that I was holding on to. My kids and I moved here with my parents after my separation. So the change of address thing had to do with change of life. It was the loss of my marriage, my home and my plans for the future. So I knew I didn't want to do anything with that at the time.
I did think that this would not be a long term thing, and I also don't like having to do things like that. It is just a little out of my comfort zone. Even though I know it was not a big deal.
Then after the demolition of my house (the address on my licence) I couldn't do it. That was a different kind of pain. It was loss of my dreams. The brokenness of my life. By this time I think it would have been okay for me to go and get my licence. But the house thing just brought all of those feelings back to the surface. So I continued to avoid it.
There was a bit of time after the house where I really dealt with a lot of that. That was when I first went to get my address changed. But as I failed to do this, I put that idea away. Maybe it wasn't time yet.
So all of this was going on in the background of my trying to get my driver's licence. It got to the point that this Monday when I didn't get my licence and knew I was going to go into St. Paul on Wednesday to get it, well, I thought of something. I thought that it was interesting, that here I am going to St. Paul to get my driver's licence. St. Paul is the place that I got my very first driver's licence when I was 16. I am living in my parents' house again, and going to the same courthouse to get my licence. It was like a circle. Much of my life has been feeling like a circle the past few months. It seems to be getting to a point where this BIG something is going to happen. Like so much of the past was practice for something else. It is a strange feeling at times.
Then I didn't get my licence there. But I went to GI. But this two was a circle. This was actually more close to the real circle that I am feeling. The last time I got my licence renewed in GI was just before I moved to Lincoln. It is funny. But I should have realized this months ago, and just gone into GI and gotten my licence. hehe.. I think I am ready for the next part of my life.
Rejection Or Epic Fail
As many of my posts here have to do with writing, I will tell you up front, that this one doesn't. Even though by the title it might seem that way.
This actually has to do with a tiny piece of plastic that a great many of us carry around with us every day. When I moved back here almost 4 years ago, I didn't worry about getting a new driver's licence. Yes, mine had the wrong address on it. But it didn't matter. Not really. In the emotional state that I was in, I didn't even want to think about that. And on top of that, I didn't view this move as a permanent place of residence. I didn't know how long I was going to be here. So why go and change the address when in 6 months or a year I would be moving again.
Well about a year and a half ago, I decided that maybe it was time. They house, the address, listed on my licence didn't even exist anymore. I had been here for a long time and didn't know when I would be moving. So I should just go and do it.
I made the journey over to the courthouse. Now mind you, it is in a town that I never go to unless it is to the courthouse. I walk in with my one piece of mail as proof of address and figured it was a done deal. What could be hard about this. I had already gotten licence plates for my car. I was just changing the address on my driver's licence after all.
Well, I was wrong. I needed two pieces of mail to change my address. Fail #1. So I had to give up and go home. Of course I was in no hurry to go back. It didn't really matter after all.
Some time later I thought I have nothing better to do today, let's go and get my driver's licence. I drive back to the courthouse. This time I had two pieces of mail. And just a note here about the mail. It is a little hard for me to come by mail. I don't really get any mail. I don't have any bills. My bank statement I view online. So there isn't much actual mail with my name on it. Okay, here I am at the courthouse. Fail #2. My mail does not say "Lisa Montoya." One of them says, "Mrs. Montoya" and the other says "Montoya Family." So they send me home once again without my licence. The lady there tried to be helpful. She told me all of the things I could bring, bills, pay stubs.. None of which I have available to me. Then she offered this bit of advice, "Go ahead and send yourself something in the mail." As I drove home I considered this... Hmmm, really? I could send myself something to any person's address and just wait for the mailman to deliver it. Then grab it out of their box. HAHA.. I could live anywhere.
By now I am starting to think this is not really worth the effort. I mean having the correct address on a card that I only need if I get stopped by a police officer...
Here, I decided to give it a little time before I tried again. I knew eventually I would have to get it done. Okay, I have two pieces of mail with Lisa Montoya on them. I drive back to the courthouse only to be turned away once again. Fail #3. This time she told me that the police office wasn't there. Here, I need to be a little less of an introvert. I thought she mean he needed to be there for me to take the test. Which I didn't need to take. I was just changing the address on my licence. But I was starting to have a mental block about this whole task. I drove home thinking about it. And realized I should have asked her why when I was there. But of course I didn't.
Alrighty now, here comes June. I by now do need to not only change my address but renew it. My birthday is coming fast. And what do you know, in the mail, yes I said MAIL, comes my card reminding me to renew my licence. I am sorry to say I was a tad angry at the arrival of this card. Here I had been trying to inform these people of my "new address" for months. But I had not been able to do this. And yet SOMEHOW they did know my address. They sent it to me here. In anger I wondered if that card would be proof of address as they were the ones who sent it to me. hehe..
Well, as you might guess I was still not in a huge hurry to try this thing again. And then I thought, well, maybe I don't have to. They sent it to me here. Maybe I will try to just renew it on-line. That was a clearly stated option on the card I had received. And it would save me from having to drive over there a 4th time. And I wouldn't actually have to talk to a person. Sounded like a perfect plan to me. I got on-line and made this attempt. Fail #4. It seems that I could not do this on-line because I was also needing to change my address. Hmmm... but why or how had they sent me the card if I couldn't do it? One will never know.
So by now, it is the week before my birthday. And I am thinking what else can happen? I have the card they sent me. I have 6 pieces of mail with my name on them. Yes, I know I only needed 2. But 6 had to be better. So Monday I get into the car and drive to the courthouse. Fail #5. It seems that the police office has to be there for them to take my picture. I could drive to Fullerton today. Or St. Paul on Wednesday or Come back here on Friday. I chose not to go to Fullerton. I went home. hehe.. On the drive home, I wondered why we paid the people working in that office.. clearly they didn't actually have much to do.
So Wednesday I drove in to St. Paul. (Now the important note is that my birthday is on Friday.) I decided to take the kids to the pool in St. Paul, make it a bit more of a worthless drive just to get my licence. I dropped them off at the pool and told them I would be back soon (hopefully with my licence) I walked into the courthouse. Yes, the man was there. :( There were like 7 people in front of me. At least 3 of them were kids taking the test. He was going to have to take all of them out driving. THIS WAS GOING TO TAKE AT LEAST AN HOUR! I stood there for a moment and thought, "Who Cares!" I left and went to join the kids at the pool. Fail #6 I figured I would just drive in to GI in the morning and get my licence there. A huge metropolis like GI has more than one person working there and I would be able to get this finish. hehe... if not, I could always go back to the courthouse in Central City on Friday.
So Thursday morning I got up. I was in no hurry. I exercised. I showered. I drove to GI. SEVEN times. WOW! I had made seven attempts to get my driver's licence. And now less then 24 hours before my birthday I was still not in possession of a valid current licence. Surely it would happen today. hehe..
I didn't know which building to go to.. there were four. I asked someone. I was not leaving this place without my licence. I walked in. Even though there was no one in front of my the lady made me take a number. I almost laughed at this. I filled out the form. Pulled out my 6 pieces of mail. She barely looked at them. By this I mean she glanced at one of them. Took my picture and sent me to the treasurer. (now of course that isn't all that happened. While I was there I asked about what I needed to have and do as my son will be turning 15 in a couple of months and I will be back to get his learner's permit. Maybe that will only take one trip.) I walked upstairs. ALMOST there. My paper in hand. I give it to her along with my money. Then she gives me a copy..a temporary licence. They will mail me the real one in 20 days or so. Once again I nearly laughed. I had planned on leaving that place with a real new licence. But instead had a little piece of paper. But finally it was finished. I had my licence.
Well, as I was writing this, I decided that maybe this is a little bit like writing. Maybe I should take this as a sign of what I should be doing with my stories. None of which I have yet sent out to 7 different places in hopes of getting one published. Okay. So this is about writing. I need to go through my list. I have been getting a little tired of the rejection letters. So I have not been in a hurry to send things out like I had been six or eight months ago. Time to work.
This actually has to do with a tiny piece of plastic that a great many of us carry around with us every day. When I moved back here almost 4 years ago, I didn't worry about getting a new driver's licence. Yes, mine had the wrong address on it. But it didn't matter. Not really. In the emotional state that I was in, I didn't even want to think about that. And on top of that, I didn't view this move as a permanent place of residence. I didn't know how long I was going to be here. So why go and change the address when in 6 months or a year I would be moving again.
Well about a year and a half ago, I decided that maybe it was time. They house, the address, listed on my licence didn't even exist anymore. I had been here for a long time and didn't know when I would be moving. So I should just go and do it.
I made the journey over to the courthouse. Now mind you, it is in a town that I never go to unless it is to the courthouse. I walk in with my one piece of mail as proof of address and figured it was a done deal. What could be hard about this. I had already gotten licence plates for my car. I was just changing the address on my driver's licence after all.
Well, I was wrong. I needed two pieces of mail to change my address. Fail #1. So I had to give up and go home. Of course I was in no hurry to go back. It didn't really matter after all.
Some time later I thought I have nothing better to do today, let's go and get my driver's licence. I drive back to the courthouse. This time I had two pieces of mail. And just a note here about the mail. It is a little hard for me to come by mail. I don't really get any mail. I don't have any bills. My bank statement I view online. So there isn't much actual mail with my name on it. Okay, here I am at the courthouse. Fail #2. My mail does not say "Lisa Montoya." One of them says, "Mrs. Montoya" and the other says "Montoya Family." So they send me home once again without my licence. The lady there tried to be helpful. She told me all of the things I could bring, bills, pay stubs.. None of which I have available to me. Then she offered this bit of advice, "Go ahead and send yourself something in the mail." As I drove home I considered this... Hmmm, really? I could send myself something to any person's address and just wait for the mailman to deliver it. Then grab it out of their box. HAHA.. I could live anywhere.
By now I am starting to think this is not really worth the effort. I mean having the correct address on a card that I only need if I get stopped by a police officer...
Here, I decided to give it a little time before I tried again. I knew eventually I would have to get it done. Okay, I have two pieces of mail with Lisa Montoya on them. I drive back to the courthouse only to be turned away once again. Fail #3. This time she told me that the police office wasn't there. Here, I need to be a little less of an introvert. I thought she mean he needed to be there for me to take the test. Which I didn't need to take. I was just changing the address on my licence. But I was starting to have a mental block about this whole task. I drove home thinking about it. And realized I should have asked her why when I was there. But of course I didn't.
Alrighty now, here comes June. I by now do need to not only change my address but renew it. My birthday is coming fast. And what do you know, in the mail, yes I said MAIL, comes my card reminding me to renew my licence. I am sorry to say I was a tad angry at the arrival of this card. Here I had been trying to inform these people of my "new address" for months. But I had not been able to do this. And yet SOMEHOW they did know my address. They sent it to me here. In anger I wondered if that card would be proof of address as they were the ones who sent it to me. hehe..
Well, as you might guess I was still not in a huge hurry to try this thing again. And then I thought, well, maybe I don't have to. They sent it to me here. Maybe I will try to just renew it on-line. That was a clearly stated option on the card I had received. And it would save me from having to drive over there a 4th time. And I wouldn't actually have to talk to a person. Sounded like a perfect plan to me. I got on-line and made this attempt. Fail #4. It seems that I could not do this on-line because I was also needing to change my address. Hmmm... but why or how had they sent me the card if I couldn't do it? One will never know.
So by now, it is the week before my birthday. And I am thinking what else can happen? I have the card they sent me. I have 6 pieces of mail with my name on them. Yes, I know I only needed 2. But 6 had to be better. So Monday I get into the car and drive to the courthouse. Fail #5. It seems that the police office has to be there for them to take my picture. I could drive to Fullerton today. Or St. Paul on Wednesday or Come back here on Friday. I chose not to go to Fullerton. I went home. hehe.. On the drive home, I wondered why we paid the people working in that office.. clearly they didn't actually have much to do.
So Wednesday I drove in to St. Paul. (Now the important note is that my birthday is on Friday.) I decided to take the kids to the pool in St. Paul, make it a bit more of a worthless drive just to get my licence. I dropped them off at the pool and told them I would be back soon (hopefully with my licence) I walked into the courthouse. Yes, the man was there. :( There were like 7 people in front of me. At least 3 of them were kids taking the test. He was going to have to take all of them out driving. THIS WAS GOING TO TAKE AT LEAST AN HOUR! I stood there for a moment and thought, "Who Cares!" I left and went to join the kids at the pool. Fail #6 I figured I would just drive in to GI in the morning and get my licence there. A huge metropolis like GI has more than one person working there and I would be able to get this finish. hehe... if not, I could always go back to the courthouse in Central City on Friday.
So Thursday morning I got up. I was in no hurry. I exercised. I showered. I drove to GI. SEVEN times. WOW! I had made seven attempts to get my driver's licence. And now less then 24 hours before my birthday I was still not in possession of a valid current licence. Surely it would happen today. hehe..
I didn't know which building to go to.. there were four. I asked someone. I was not leaving this place without my licence. I walked in. Even though there was no one in front of my the lady made me take a number. I almost laughed at this. I filled out the form. Pulled out my 6 pieces of mail. She barely looked at them. By this I mean she glanced at one of them. Took my picture and sent me to the treasurer. (now of course that isn't all that happened. While I was there I asked about what I needed to have and do as my son will be turning 15 in a couple of months and I will be back to get his learner's permit. Maybe that will only take one trip.) I walked upstairs. ALMOST there. My paper in hand. I give it to her along with my money. Then she gives me a copy..a temporary licence. They will mail me the real one in 20 days or so. Once again I nearly laughed. I had planned on leaving that place with a real new licence. But instead had a little piece of paper. But finally it was finished. I had my licence.
Well, as I was writing this, I decided that maybe this is a little bit like writing. Maybe I should take this as a sign of what I should be doing with my stories. None of which I have yet sent out to 7 different places in hopes of getting one published. Okay. So this is about writing. I need to go through my list. I have been getting a little tired of the rejection letters. So I have not been in a hurry to send things out like I had been six or eight months ago. Time to work.
Thursday, June 6, 2013
Corn
Today as I was walking I was noticing the corn. I have lived nearly my whole life in the middle of a corn field. I have watched the plants sprout and grow. I have seen the harvest come so many times. Every spring when the tiny plants first poke out of the ground there is an excitement of the new growth. And as I was walking passed the corn this morning, I thought, "Knee high by the 4th of July." A phrase I have heard again and again. No one needs to tell me these words. My own mind brings thing to the open. The corn is not yet there. Though it is closer to June 4th than July right now. I do not doubt that it will make it there before the end of the month.
Then the spring will change to the heat of summer. The corn will be taller than I am. I remember infinite number of rides up and down the driveway on my bike. The sunlight blinking like a strobe light as it shone between the stalks. 
As I continued on my walk. I thought some more of the corn, growing forever in this place. One more season. And another. Always does it stay the same. There are changes yes, one year is dry the next the floods may come, or hail and storm. Too hot, too cool. And yet it grows.
How much corn I wonder? How many lakes would all of that corn fill?
There was one other thing that came to mind as I took my walk this morning. This was a quote from Star Wars.
Luke: "I think those new droids
are gonna work out fine. In fact, I, uh, also thinking about our
agreement, about me staying on another season. And if these new
droids do work out, I wanna transmit my application to the academy
this year." Uncle Owen: "You mean, the next semester before
the harvest?" Luke: "Sure, there's more than enough
droids." Uncle Owen: "Harvest is when I need you the most.
Only one season more. This year we'll make enough on the harvest that
I'll be able to hire some more hands and then, you can go to the
academy next year. You must understand, I need you here, Luke."
Luke: "But it's a whole 'nother year." Uncle Owen: "Look,
it's only one more season." Luke: "Yeah, that's what you
said when Biggs and Tank left." Aunt Beru: "Where are you
going?" Luke: "Looks like I'm going nowhere. I have to go
finish cleaning those droids."
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